Radiation SUCKS!

I am so tired. So so tired. I could and do sleep all day. Sorry it has taken me so long to update. There's not much news on the treatment front! I'm just sleeping and waiting.

As far as the t-shirt front: I have gotten lots of questions. I really can't answer them. I am trying to direct people to Gus. He talked with the accountant this week and ended up setting up an account for the t-shirt money. From that, there is a paypal account. This should make it easier for everyone. And in the last post, I said to send Gus a cashier's check, when I was supposed to say money order. Anyway. You can always email him at eengstrom@carolina.rr.com. He really does have all the answers! Here is the paypal information he emailed to me: the paypal account for the t-shirts is : made.in.kansas@gmail.com if you are out of town add a couple of bucks for shipping. Gus is going to make an order on Monday afternoon, so get your info to him asap if you want to order a shirt this go round. We can also get toddler and small children's sizes, so get those babies on team Tara!! :)

Lastly, head on over to 627photography.blogspot.com to check out some FABULOUS photos from the pep rally! Amy did an awesome job taking pictures and there is a link to her flickr set so you can see ALL of the photos she took. Thank you AMY!

I have heard from some people that they are having trouble leaving comments on the blog. I am sorry, I don't know the reason for this. If there is something you want to say, you can always email me: ikickcancersass@gmail.com

Much love and gratitude,

Tara

WOW!

Gus has already heard from someone about the shirts. That is awesome, overwhelming and exciting. He asked me to post some information. We are trying to do this on a more cash basis. Neither of us wants to end up having to claim this money as income, so we are going to ask that everyone just get a cashier's check or cash. This way, it won't mess up Gus' account and taxes. The plan, as it is, is for Gus to take the money he made at the pep rally and have the bank cut a check, to be put in a safe until we have a firm grasp on where it's going. I want you all to know that this is on the up and up, even if we seem VERY unorganized. It has just all happened so fast. But, your money will be going to a good place and not toward more amps for Gus or more dolls for me.. :) (who said that's not a good place, you may ask...well, I ask the same thing!!)

So, if you live out of town, please plan to send Gus a cashier's check. If you are local, just get with him and you can do this with cash. His address is:

Gus Engstrom

83 Glendale Ave.

Concord, NC 28025

Include a couple of bucks for shipping if you are far away, that way we can get the maximum amount to the clinical trial.

As far as sizing goes, the shirts are tultex. They are like American Apparel, but they are not as expensive. They run a little small. Follow the link for sizing and then you can have all of your ducks in a row when you contact Gus.

http://www.tultex.net/fj_tees.htm#

Thank you for baring with us as we try to figure it all out. And thanks for supporting me in my fight!!!

Love,

Tara

OKAY....I'm tired

Well, I have started radiation. I went to see the radiation oncologist on Wednesday of last week. Mom and dad and I talked with Stacey, the nurse for quite a while and then we met with Dr. Lankford. He had already come up with a basic plan for my femur. As far as the rib, he still just wasn't sure. I had spoken with Dr. Steffens and he felt sure that they would radiate the rib. So, I put the pressure on Dr. Lankford, as much as I could. It was a great meeting and I really like the staff at the radiation oncology office. I was told that because I am experiencing a great amount of pain in my hip, I would probably get started with radiation quickly. Radiation should help to ease that pain. So, on Thursday, I was back at radiation oncology and they did their scans and mapped out my treatment for the femur. While we were doing that, Dr. Lankford had me point to the pain in my ribs, he marked it, scanned and it matched up with the part that is lighting up on some scans. So, I will also be getting radiation on my rib. I felt very relieved with that news. I left to get some lunch and came back in the afternoon and we got started with radiation on that femur. Dr. Lankford said that I will get 25 treatments on the femur and 16 on the rib. I don't start with the rib until Monday, the 23, because it will not require as many sessions. I will actually finish with the rib before I get finished with the femur.

So, 2 down, 23 to go!!!!

My weekend was AWESOME! My brother is a pretty good guy. Friday night, he threw me a pep-rally!!! I loved it. There were so many of my friends in one place and we ate and drank and talked and enjoyed the musical stylings of The Avett Brothers. It was a very emotional night for me. I was on a high for the entire evening! It's funny how you can feel all emotions more acutely when you are very happy or very sad. I felt very lucky. I always feel like I don't deserve all the love that is shown me on such a regular basis, so I cried all night when I got home. I cried because I felt happy and lucky. I cried because I don't deserve the love and I cried because I was just TIRED! (and maybe a little drunk.) It was a beautiful, special night and I will never forget what I remember... :) I took NO photos, but there were many taken and as soon as I can, I will post them or direct you to sites where they are posted.

One of the special things that Gus is doing for me, in collaboration with our great friend, Steve Munsel is t-shirts!!! The Engstroms love a t-shirt. These shirts are really special and if you are interested, you can email Gus @ eengstrom@carolina.rr.com. The shirts are $20, with proceeds going toward the clinical trial that looks to be doing the most to help my particular situation. We thought about Komen, and it is still a possibility, but maybe we can get in and do our little part with something a little more specific. The design for the t-shirt is based on an early propaganda campaign that Shepherd Fairey did while in design school. You can read about it and see the sticker at:

http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andre_the_Giant_Has_a_Posse

It's pretty interesting and Gus and I both became interested in Shepherd Fairey's work in the Obama campaign, so it seems like a fun and appropriate thing to do. The design for my shirt is at the top of the page. Just let Gus know if you want one.

Well, thanks again for all of the support and love. I feel it and it makes me stronger!!

Love,

Tara

I would like to give CALEB a big shout-out for the new blog artwork.  I tweaked it a little, but overall, I love what he came up with.  

As for today, I am feeling excited.  I spent the last 2 weeks on a roller coaster and I can truly say that this week, it all begins.  

Wednesday afternoon, I will meet with the radiation oncologist and at that point I will learn how much radiation he plans to give and where.  Once this gets going, I just know I can beat it.

Thanks for everything, everyone!!

Love,

Tara

by the way

Anyone who is interested or didn't know me last time around, you can take a look at my previous blog:

http://phototara.livejournal.com

thanks,

Tara

Third Time's A Charm

Well, friends, here we go again.

It has been 5 short years since I last blogged, but I am once again starting on my journey to healing.  I have been diagnosed with breast cancer for a third time.  This time it is in my right femur.  This stuff really likes my bones.  I have had, in the past 2 weeks, an MRI, a bone scan, a PET scan and a CT guided biopsy.  It appears to also be in my ribs, but we can't tell for sure because it isn't lighting up on the PET scan and it is dangerous to do a biopsy that close to the lungs.

Because there is not a lot of blood flow to the bones, radiation is my best option right now.  They are also researching clinical trials.  I have an appointment next week with the radiation oncologist and at that point I will know exactly where we start with all of this.

It's pretty scary.  When I asked the doctor what it all means for me, he said, "Five to Ten Years."  That seems pretty unacceptable to me, so it's time to fight once again.

The blog is the best way for me to get information out to everyone.  I love all of you so much and wish that I had the energy to speak with each of you personally about this, but I don't.  So, please accept my apologies for the informal manner of relaying information.

I will post again soon, when I know something!

Love,

Tara