A long overdue update

I would like to start by apologizing for my being remiss in keeping everyone updated.  It has been a very long and interesting month for me.  

I will first update everyone on the most important thing that has happened in my life this year.  My dear uncle Doug lost his battle with cancer on April 3.  I was in Kansas for 2 weeks spending some time with him and our family.  It was a wonderful thing to do my small part to help him pass from this world.  He was (despite the fact that I am biased) an amazing man who touched many lives in his far too short life.  He is missed by all who knew him and I am thankful that I got to be related to him and know him my whole life.  Thanks to everyone who helped us with the 1000 cranes.  We got them strung and showed him.  He was able to make a wish and we feel pretty sure he got what he was hoping for!

I probably wore myself out a bit in Kansas.  I didn't take my naps and I was very preoccupied with my family time.  So, I came home a very tired girl.  I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Steffens on Monday of this last week.  It went well and we discussed my options.  1) do nothing  2)continue to do the lupron (which had obviously stopped working) 3)chemotherapy: which has nothing to back it up in the research department as to it's effectiveness for bone mets in my femur or 4)begin a regimen of Lupron every 85 days, Faslodex and Zometa once every month.  We decided to go with option 4.  

I had a PET scan on Thursday and had a call on Friday that Dr. Steffens wanted to see me Friday.  I was sure it was just because he missed me.  (it has to be tough to go a whole week without me! :)  It turned out that the pet scan showed some activity in one lymph node in my abdomen.  It was somewhere close to 2 cm large.  I really hated getting that news.  I wasn't really sure how it would change the treatment plan we had decided on.  Dr. Steffens made the point that it is only one lymph node out of all of the lymph nodes in my entire body.  I responded with the fact that one lymph node was how this all got out of hand starting in 2000.  He understood my concern.  It is his opinion that we have time on our side, for right now.  He would still recommend that I go to the Faslodex and the Zometa, along with the Lupron for now. We will rescan in 8 weeks and if necessary, we will take another look at the chemo option.  There will (positively) be no growth that could change my prognosis in those 8 weeks.  As I have said before, he is my doctor, I chose him, I trust him and I am going to go with this.  As a matter of fact, we started yesterday and I received my 2 shots of Faslodex in my hips and my infusion of Zometa before I left yesterday.  There are no side effects (other than a sore-ish butt) from the shots and I have taken Zometa before and never had a problem.  

I am remaining hopeful for the time being.  I am scared, I am sad, I am angry, I am frustrated and most of all I am weary.  This is just about a sucky as it gets.  I'm tired of this being my lot in life.  I have been so wrapped up that I forgot my (stem cell transplant) birthday on the 12th and keep thinking of the fact that April 20 will be the 9 year anniversary of my very first diagnosis.  It has been a long 9 years.  BUT....I will fight to stay alive for every bit of time I am given.  

It is very late and I am tired, so I think I will end this post for now.  I will pop on a photo of the tattoo that I am going to get, very soon.

Thanks once again, for caring enough to read my drivel!  Keep you vibes / prayers coming as I am sure I need them!

Love and gratitude, 

Tara